by ARJ, San Mateo The thing I am most proud of isn’t anything I did on the outs. The thing I’m most proud of is being able to take this hard time in my life and turning it into something rather than just being mad that I got caught. I know it might sound dumb, but I am happy that I got caught because I was on a path that would have ended with me either dead or locked up for way longer than I am going to be right now. When I first came down I was very angry
Continue ReadingI’m Very Proud
by Gabriel, Sonoma I’m proud of not only myself but my girlfriend. I am proud of both of us because we met about six months ago and at that time, I was not my best self. I was going through a rough time where I was homeless and not in my best mental mindset. What I mean by that is I was always a mad person – maybe mostly not mad but sad because I never had a family. I never was never told or showed by someone that they loved me. Instead of being able to express my feeling
Continue ReadingHeartbreak
by Elijah, San Francisco I got my heart broken a few times. I broke my own heart by being in here. As a kid, I never thought I would be here. It is hard for me to be in here. This is one of the places that I thought I would never come to but I made the wrong choice, being with the wrong people. I am a leader but I was following somebody and that is what got me in here. It was peer pressure and he got in my head about it. I spoke to my mom about
Continue ReadingBad Habits
by Jaimi Roberts, Central California Women’s Facility I’d like to think I have the bad habit of all bad habits!!! Lack of thought control…and misplacing them with my feelings. Without a healthy strong belief system this is where everything gets hairy! Yikes! This bad habit of entertaining random or ruminating thoughts has been my ultimate set up: I’ve lost family over it, engaged in both criminal, homicidal and addictive activities. I had never given myself the chance to live presently, being all consumed with a cumulation of unresolved past baggage, a lot of it was not even my own, but
Continue ReadingI Love You for the First Time
by Jon D. Goldberg, San Quentin State Prison, CA The first time I told a non-family member I love you was to my first girlfriend that I thought was serious. Young love in the sixth grade. Her name was the Tina Foss. I will never forget her. Now that I am grown I realize I didn’t know love outside my family until I met my ex-wife. It was truly love at first sight. To find love is exhilarating, life changing and awesome. When you feel compelled to say it, it comes easy. When I first said it I was young
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Volume 28.05/06
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 28.05/06
Greetings friends! Welcome to our latest issue, 28.05/06, of The Beat Within. We are thrilled to bring you our latest issue of writing and art from the inside and beyond. This week OT, has plenty to share and with space being a premium, let’s cut to the chase and pass the keyboard to our dear colleague. “Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” -Drake Before I get into my message, I would like to let y’all know that this editorial note is dedicated to the great writers and colleagues inside San Quentin that contribute, write
Continue ReadingHow To Cope
by Adriana, San Mateo I used to think dope was the only thing worth living for, but now I see myself getting out, going to program, and living my best life clean and sober. Becoming and staying sober has been a complete lifestyle change that I will have to continue in order to save my life. Yeah, it may have not been my choice to get clean. On the streets I would have never found the strength to do so, let alone maintain sobriety. Going down and staying down helped me reevaluate my life and rethink some of the lifestyle
Continue ReadingI Used To-But Now…I’m Going to do Better
by Curry, San Francisco I used to be naïve and stubborn when I didn’t listen and respect my elders advice. At the time I just thought they didn’t understand me or what I was going through. Now, with experience and time, I realized that my elders always have good wisdom informed by their years of experience and learning. I’ve also learned to never judge a book by its cover for example, although a person may not seem to have all of their stuff together they might have a way of living and being that is good for them. I know
Continue ReadingWorking Through My Journey
by On The Journey To My True Self, San Diego First are my trust issues. Growing up, my dad promised me something and would never follow through with anything he promised me. Then, when I got a little older, I started dating, and boys really taught me you can’t trust anyone no matter what they say or do. My mother also gave me trust issues, always lying to me all the time. Then, the trust issues really started to grow on me from forming a lot of new bonds and relationships. Soon, I started realizing that I was losing interest
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