We welcome back you readers to another double dose edition of the one and only The Beat Within. We are the only magazine putting out a double issue every other week. It’s the only magazine where you’re allowed to tell your stories, your truths in a safe space. It’s OT back again tasked with bringing you some words of inspiration and wisdom.
There were some really great topics this week and it was really tough having to pick just one, but I think I will go with the one that moves me the most. “There are two kinds of worries – those you can do something about and those you can’t. Don’t spend any time on the latter.” Duke Ellington
I would like to agree and disagree with Mr. Duke Ellington. I feel like there are so many worries in the world, that you can’t just categorize them into two categories. Other words associated with the word worry, would be problems, responsibilities, that would include bills like rent, cable, phone, water bill, electricity bill, those are all things to worry about at times for many of us that are truly independent. Putting food on the table, is probably the most expensive depending on how many people in your family depend on you.
Now imagine being a young person and still worrying about studying for a test in school and having to worry about any of the forementioned issues? You would have to pick your poison. When you don’t even know where your next meal is coming from why would a science test even matter to me or you?
I remember growing up and starting off high school, I wasn’t able to get reduced lunch anymore, because my mom didn’t want to fill the paperwork out because she was scared it would affect our green card application. So, mind you (it doesn’t). At that time, I didn’t know what was going on and she didn’t either.
So, she told me if we fill it out then we could get deported back to Nicaragua. Now, it was probably a myth, a lie, or even an exaggeration, but as poor as my family was, we never applied for government assistance because we were all trying to get our legal status in the U.S. And since I wasn’t getting free lunches I also wasn’t going to get any money either.
My family told me to just wait till I get home to eat lunch. I was a really skinny kid. We would get out at 2:45, walk ten minutes to the bus stop, and we would have to wait for like the fourth bus because it would be soooo crowded.
By the time I get home it was well after four o’clock in the afternoon. I couldn’t wait that long. I played sports. I would play pickup basketball before school even started, full court games. PE we would work out, and play sports as well, lunch time we would also play, and sometimes I would keep playing basketball right after school.
I wouldn’t get any money from no one in my family, so I started hustling just to buy my lunch. I wasn’t even a smoker back then, so I knew that if I sold weed, I would make good money to buy myself whatever I needed and wanted.
Now, I tell you guys this small story because I especially want to get the attention of the probation officers, lawyers, judges and all the youth advocates, because the problems didn’t end with my quick fix solution. More problems arose, catching cases, probation, doing time, etc.
There was a point in time that going to school was a challenge for me because everyone wanted to fight me. I was started to get hated on by a lot of the young people at school just because of the colors I was wearing. I was a diehard Niner’s fan, and I would wear niner jackets, jerseys, and sweaters. I guess people didn’t like that and it would lead to fights, rumbles, you name it.
So, now I had to worry about my life and my physical wellbeing. So, let me break it down like this. If, as a young person, going to school is our job and main responsibility, how effective do you think I’ll be able to do my job if just by going to school, there are people that are trying to physically hurt me?
Imagine you as a probation officer, a lawyer, a judge, and just for going at the courthouse instead of seeing your peers and saying good morning, they want to physically hurt you? You wouldn’t like your job anymore, right? You wouldn’t feel safe enough to do your job probably.
So, I say that to say this. There are a lot of things that we can’t control that just by ignoring it could cost you more in the long run. Nowadays, with social media everything is amplified, and I couldn’t imagine the tremendous amount of pressure that youth go through to just try to get through a day in school, a week or even a semester. But it is possible!
Sometimes, not worrying about a problem only makes it bigger. It will linger, start small and have a snowball effect. You can’t ignore problems, but what you can do is prioritize the most important ones first. Then, move on down the list and get them squared away.
Problems are not meant to be ignored. Just like when you don’t feel good and need to get medical attention. On your first sign of pain, or abnormal activity in your body, you should seek help. You’re not going to say, “I’ll go to the doctor, later.” Only to find out, that later is too late.
The worries will always be there, and it’s up to us to control our anxiety. The only way we can do it that is to make sure we have plans, plan A, plan B, and plan C. It’s called being prepared. Always remember the five P’s: proper preparation prevents a poor performance.
You do the best you can with what you have and never be afraid to ask someone you trust for help! I now exit with those words of wisdom. OT is signing out with the utmost love and respect for each every single one of you. Long Live David Inocencio. And The Beat keeps going and going…
Thanks for sharing and breaking down the struggle of trying to provide for your family while also trying to attend school and be a good student. We are so sure that many young people and their families reading this magazine, can totally relate to your story as they also struggle on the daily with the very same problems you have described. Thanks for reminding us to be strong and continue to push forward through our struggles to find the best version we can be for everyone that loves us.