-Gabe, San Quentin State Prison
Take a breath.
It’s ten fourteen PM and the hamster in my head, is running on his wheel like it’s fuel injected. I’m trying to sleep, but the roaring of my thoughts, regrets and memories crash against my eyelids, as if an ocean’s wave, barely contained. It’s knocking.
This has been a constant for me. At least my memories will never leave. This was my way of thinking for a long time, and it still tries to creep back in the dark of night. I started to challenge those thoughts. “Are you helping me right now?” “Is it that important?”
I take a huge breath, hold it, and count to four…. release. Repeat. I can’t go back and change the life I’ve already lived. I can only take accountability, love the bittersweet taste of memories when they come, and let them pass.
So, the next time those intrusive thoughts come. Take a breath.