by City Boy, San Mateo
Today I’m going to talk about being down bad and no one to depend on. First off I just want to say everyone has a different type of struggle in life that helps that person to persevere through or to stress about. Either way you can have one or another, or both sides. I just want to say that I have that feeling of being down bad or just nobody to talk to or just unmotivated.
I’m just always been down-bad money wise and relations with family, but every day I pray. I just have hope and faith always will. The down-bad I’m talking bout is zero dollars in yo’ pockets for days, no friends around to talk to, nobody to depend on or call on, tryin’ to find a place to sleep every day, lonely 24/7, no food having to steal every day.
To be honest, I was never a type to ask for shhh. I rather take yo’ shhh. I’m always the type to be concerned ‘bout yo’ feelings and stay out the way.
Living that life got me stuck on what I want to do in the future. It’s hard to accomplish a good state of mind especially when I don’t know anything about college and don’t want to work a job.
School, never worked out for me. I was good at sports but I ain’t have the grades. English class always slept. The only class I was good at you guessed it, gym or PE class. I was only coo wit’ the ninjas that was just like me, low grades and bad mentality. But now that life is over and now I’m only focusing on myself and not worrying about other folks. I’m doing all my school work that’s given to me in the school department so that’s good.
Hopefully in the future I can do better, but I still don’t feel like I can because of the past. I can never just put the past away sometimes and move on like how people tell me to. I wish I can make my mamma proud one day and see her smiling from my gifts that I’m blessing her with.