Ed Note 24.51/52

Greetings readers and writers of The Beat Within! We’re back to highlight reflections of our high school student interns, who transcribe pieces that come to us through adult institutions for The Beat Without section. This issue we welcome two students from Urban High School of San Francisco, Georgia and Robert. Georgia writes about the way her transcriptions have have changed her perspective: people’s crimes do not define who they are. In Robert’s reflection, we get a small snapshot of the listener that he’s become through his work transcribing for us, and see the profound effect that our writers have on the people working behind the scenes of The Beat. Thank you so much to Georgia and Robert for their earnest work and commitment to our mission! 

A Crime Does Not Define a Person

Going into this I didn’t really know what I thought or what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t what I came out understanding. Looking back at before I started volunteering for The Beat Within, I think that I fully associated people with their crimes. To me, they were their crime, and that was all they were. After reading all the Beat Within letters I realized that a crime does not define a person; it can, but it doesn’t always. As well as a crime not defining a person, an individual can also change drastically. Someone may go into the system being one person, and come out a totally new person. The letters I read simply were not written by the same individuals that committed the crimes that they were incarcerated for.  

One man wrote about how he does “not believe in stealing, or violence”, he does “not respect a violent person”, and he vows that he “will never hit, strike, or punch another human being again”. He said he that he would “take a punch in [his] face, and be stabbed to death, before [he] ever raise[s] [his] hand to hurt someone”. He acknowledged who he used to be, everything that was wrong with that, and he vowed to never be that man again. He said: â€œI used to steal. Now I wouldn’t steal a penny or a trillion dollars from anyone ever. Not from the worst person on earth. I would rather eat out of a trash can, then to steal again”. I was amazed by his remorse and sincerity. I truly believe that man is not who he used to be. 

This kind of change is something I didn’t realize was possible before I started typing for the Beat Within. Another letter that shocked me was “The Last Hug”. Michael Webb writes to Mackey about his feelings about being released from incarceration after serving 29 Â½ years. I would have assumed that feeling would be happiness, 100%, always. But Webb wrote about the sadness that came with his release. After receiving his last hug from Mackey, Webb said: “The deep sense of sadness I felt in my heart was I was leaving a lot of good men and friends behind and you are one of those good men and friends”. Webb wrote to Mackey saying: “So that hug you gave me I carried apart of you with me when I left and I still carry you in my heart today. Mackey you’re not only my friend but you’re like the little brother I always wanted. So that’s why your hug is so special to me.” 

I never thought prison would be a place where you could meet someone you could care so deeply for. Somewhere that you could meet friends, â€œbrothers” even. 

After volunteering for The Beat Within, I have a different view on incarcerated individuals. I no longer see them how I used to, and I no longer see crime the same way.

Crimes do not define the person that committed them, and change is more than possible. I don’t know what I expected going into this, but I definitely never expected to come out with this view, but I am so grateful that I did.  

-Georgia from Urban High School in San Francisco, CA 

Opening Up to You 

Throughout the last twelve weeks, I have read, transcribed, and attempted to ever so slightly break open the divide between my life and yours, hoping to gently peer into a life so distant and foreign to mine. I don’t know if I found what I was hoping to find while reading these stories and messages, nor did I rigorously attempt to understand what exactly I wanted to find. Whether it was my goal to uncover my connection with my own communities around me, to strengthen my understanding of the injustices of the prison system, or to connect the messages written by The Beat Within members with classes about law, justice, and racism. 

I knew I desired a deeper understanding of this system and how I relate to the various systems around me, but never took the time to identify my intentions before reading your pieces. I want to say I am sorry for that. I am sorry that I did not spend time identifying what I was hoping to find from this process. I feel like I have let you down. I felt so close to the writers during this process, but every time I finished a transcription, I felt like I was betraying you, that I was unintentionally leaving your voices and messages behind even though I wanted to hold them up and worship them. I felt like there was something I should do with my emotions after reading your pieces but did not know where to put them or how to further apply my emotional connection to your writing.

Every time I finished a transcription, I became confused and agitated with my emotions, I did not know what to do with these emotions, so I just left them behind. I regret that. Some of this anger was built up because I was longing to connect with you and understand more about your story, I longed for a way where I could show I truly care. 

I believed my job as a transcriber did not actually fulfill my job as a listener. I could never connect with you, you could never connect with me. I believe that it is important to acknowledge this huge leap of faith you took by sharing your personal stories with a community of strangers whom you do not know. I applaud you for that. I wanted to take a little time to tell you about myself and hopefully have you understand who you are writing to in order to slowly fulfill my job as a listener. 

My name is Robert C. I am a seventeen-year-old young man who lives in San Francisco. I love playing baseball and learning (particularly history). I enjoy playing basketball with my friends, skateboarding, and spending time with my brother when he is home from college. I really like to eat corn on the cob and really do not at all like to eat mushrooms (I can kind of deal with them on pizza but most of the time I can not). I have found a really unique and powerful space in my school called YMG (Youth Men’s Group). It is a space where self-identifying men come together to talk about issues of masculinity within our community…however, before we do that, we spend countless hours breaking down masculine stereotypes so that YMG members can reflect and open up about deeply personal stories and anecdotes. 

I value the vulnerability you showed me. I did not want to spend this time writing about my “changed mind” or “new outlook”, instead, I wanted to spend this time opening up to you, showing you who I am, telling you a little bit about myself, acknowledge your vulnerability, and hopefully attempt at finishing my duty as the listener of your stories.

-Robert from Urban High School in San Francisco, CA 

We truly appreciate Georgia and Robert’s reflection pieces. We are grateful for their insights and we hope you all appreciate their truths too.

All right, this is our last issue for 2019! Hard to believe we, once again, created 52 issues of The Beat Within! Thank you all for your time in reading The Beat, as well as a big thanks to you writers who spill the truth in our pages. We appreciate you all.  We hope to hear from you all in 2020, which is right around the corner. Shoot us a message from the free world, or keep ‘em coming from the respected institution you are writing and creating from.  Sending you all our best this holiday season and new year. Reach out anytime!