Here Goes Nothing

by AG, Sacramento

Heartless, I can be, why?
Let’s see, but I ask you not to judge me
So, here goes nothing
I may be all over the place with this
So just bear with me
So my life is a messed up mess
And yeah, it’s sad, but I say that with my chest
My heart is broken, yes, I write and speak about the same stuff
So if you wonder why, take a good guess
I’ve been through it all, foster homes…
While I’m in trouble, yet watching the blood kids have a ball
I’m kind of like Humpty Dumpty, and had a great fall
I never got back up, I’m just a kid
Why does my life have to be so tough?
Homeless outside, asking for help
All people could say was “sheesh, you look rough”
Man, I’m a kid, is that not enough?
No mom, no dad, no one to trust
People look at me with disgust
Because my shoes were messed up
And my clothes stunk, and were all jacked up
No one believed my messed-up life
So I went into a hush
Got pounds out on the streets, couldn’t eat much
Watching my back every second, so I couldn’t sleep much
No mom, no love, no dad, no trust
Brother gone, he turned into dust
Momma gone, or at home, high off hella drugs
So heartless, I can be, why?
I hope y’all can see, there’s so much hate in me
So yes, when I feel pain, my best friend is weed
Or even some drank
No love, no trust, no trust, no love
Depression has taken over
I’m fifteen, but I feel older
I never really had a shoulder
All that just piled up inside me and made me
As a person, even colder
So heartless, I can be
One day, I’ll love someone, hopefully
My damaged life has stayed with me
My hatred for people and the world has grew in me
But I don’t show, I got a mask, and she nice, sweet, and bubbly
I may be all over the place, but bear with me
And maybe you’ll get to understand most of me