Drugs Really Messed Me Up

by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison, CA

It took years for me to slowly recover. I used to be an emotional zombie, burnt the eff out! It really was (is) sad. I have been sober almost eight years now! This St. Patrick’s Day will be eight years clean!

The purpose of me writing this to The Beat Within. My only purpose to my writing to The Beat Within, is to inspire someone else who might be going through the same thing. 

Today I understand the neuropathic process of releasing endorphins inside the brain. It’s a lot like a MSD ignition and titanium spark plugs in a turbo charged V8 motor, but a lot more complex.

Ever see a salt water lighter? What about how water, copper wire, and sulfuric acid invented the first telephone wire? Look at coal burning locomotives, jet planes, or modern day trains.

Five “G” phones, the I-phone 13, ain’t got nothing on the human brain. Proper vitamins, adequate sleep, regular exercise, helping others, honoring God. Saying “Thank you,” “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” These things help to create a better planet and people

My brain used to be soaked with drugs and alcohol. I was unable to focus, to give. All I did was lie and steal. I am sorry. 

Today, I find the courage to stay sober. I suffer through the emotional pain of love and loss but I don’t use. I don’t need the needle in my arm. I don’t need the smoke or the alcohol. All I need is love. God is love. I am so grateful today.