Category: The Beat Without

-André, California Medical Facility, Vacaville, CA “Darkness cannot drive away darkness, only light can do that.” Martin Luther King Jr.  The longer I live, the more I understand this quote. Most of my life, I have been fighting hate with hate, violence with violence, tit for tat, etc. That pattern and cycle of dealing with the “darkness” has never produced the desired outcome I was looking for.  Being in prison, most people believe the only way to survive is to adopt the long-lasting culture already in place. That norm only produces racist, antisocial, cruel, uneducated, criminal minded, emotionally broken individuals. 

-André, California Medical Facility in Vacaville, CA I believe (know) we are all different (unique) in our own way. Even with that, I never fit in in the spaces I dwelled all the time. I grew up having friends in different groups. I had friends who were thugs. Others who were nerds. Some who were jocks, etc. Since I was a combination of them all, I never fit comfortably or fully in.  The thugs thought I was uppity or bougie, the nerds thought I was too aggressive, the jocks thought I wasn’t focused enough on the sport, etc. This left

-Freddy, San Quentin State Prison, CA As a kid growing up and hearing stories from other classmates and seeing their family show up and cheer them on, I thought I was completely different. It made me sad to not be normal as I saw my classmates and friends.  Growing up in foster care, I had to make up stories to sound normal in front of my peers. I finally got a family member to show up for something I did in a positive way. It felt good to see my cousin see me dancing and having fun in a good

-John, San Quentin State Prison, CA The point of no return is the door to freedom from accountabilityNothing matters after the pointHowever, it is also the point when everything I do mattersWhen everything I do can’t matter to anyone elseWhen there is no more reason to be kind, be kind stillWhen there is no hope for the future, dream stillWhen there is no chance for changing, try stillWhen there is no love received, love stillWhen there is no expectation to be me, be meWhen there is no need for self-restraint, be calm stillWhen there is no freedom, be free.

-Monique, Correctional Facility in St. Gabriel, LA No one told Drake that his life would be interrupted by a thirty year prison sentence. Drake was the same as any young guy who had great potential. However, things changed drastically when he begins to get off track. Drake was born and raised in Southwest Louisiana in a city called Lake Charles. This is on the Northside, which everyone knows as Goo Sport for the hood terminologies. Drake lost his dad at the age of fourteen. So, his only father figure and the only man he knew was taken from him too

-Frederick, United States Penitentiary Tucson in Tucson, AZ In this series of essays, I wanted to write for those with loved ones in prison, to give them hope that nothing is impossible. Sadly, most want to believe that, but have resolved to accept the sad, “Fact,” that their loved ones in prison are doomed.  For them, “There ain’t no sunshine.” So, I’m listening to a special version of the song, “Ain’t No Sunshine,” originally by Bill Withers. This version that I have, however, is the Lido Remix, which is a very cool version of the classic song. I’m using this

-James, San Quentin State Prison, CA I have to believe that it’s still possible to stand my life even, to create a better life for myself, one with meaning and worth of living.  At sixty two years old I don’t have a lot to be proud of. I have spent less than a year and a half in the real world since I was 18 years old. There just has to be more to life than these concrete walls, steel bars, and prison blues. I didn’t truly believe that I didn’t think there would be much point in going on

-Scott, Correctional Facility in Chino, CA “The links between a bizarre time perception, and an indeterminate future” There’s a peculiar sort of deformed time experience called inner time where a smaller unit of time, like a day seems endless, and a larger unit of time, like a week seems to pass more rapidly. In the history, of our peoples there are only five distinct social groups known to experience this warped perception of time. World War I POW’s, prisoners in the death camps during the holocaust, chronic tuberculosis patients of the 19th and early 20th century, unemployed coal miners of

-Frederick Mason, USP Tucson in Tucson, AZ To this point, I’ve written nearly six hundred essays from USP Tucson, but before I was sent here, I was writing at other places. In fact, I’ve been writing since about the third or forth grade, on through high school, through college and beyond. But I remember writing a scary story and I did it as a co-op project with a juvenile while in county jail. I didn’t realize how it affected others, but it is a reminder that writers can have an impact on others, even if it’s of the horror genre. 

-Daniel Ballard, San Quentin State Prison, CA When I was younger I had dreams. Then I came to a realization, around fifteen or sixteen years old that I defined a dream of what actually a dream was: just a dream. Nothing more, nothing less, due to the fact that I can lay down tonight, close my eyes and dream of something or someone I have no knowledge of and feel very distant from.  So, my actual dream is a goal, something while I’m wide eyed awake that can be placed and put into a proper perspective. While doing so, I