Category: The Beat Without

by Efren Bullard, Ironwood State Prison, Blythe, CA It’s been a while since I last sent you (The Beat) something worth reading. For the past few months I’ve been working very hard on this Commutation of Sentence. I’m trying to get the Governor of California to reduce my sentence from Life Without Parole to Life With Parole so that I can have the opportunity to go to Board for release one day.  I just finished it and mailed it to my brother so he can send it into the Governor’s office. Now, I want to move forward and let you

by Keith Erickson, Pleasant Valley State Prison, Coalinga, CA The world never looked so beautiful than it does for me today. Having spent almost forty years of my life incarcerated my perception of things around me weren’t always so glamourous. I decided to write this piece on one of my special talents, being an artist. There is more to my being skilled at this craft than simply being able to sit down and do it freely. As a kid growing up, I was fascinated by street art, graffiti and tagging. Watching the 1980’s movies like “Beat Street,” “Breaking,” and “Breaking

by Mesro Coles-El, San Quentin State Prison, CA I am brokenFor yearsI was openTo abuse fromPeople needingEgo-strokingThat berated myNeed to be outspokenInstead of supportThose who told meThey loved meFiled reportsThat lied to meWhen theySold meMeanwhileWhen I was in courtWhere I boldlyTried to get homeI wasOut of sortsAngry and lonelySomedaysI stare atMy shardsGathering dustThe floor isSo hard!In too many waysI’m scarredSo much soIt feels likeHappy daysJust aren’tIn the cardsFor sportSlave holdersCarve toFold meInto my kennelI’m a soldierThrough hunger painsMade bolderBy my soft touchThat got meBoiling in life’s kettleWith no oneTo hold meThen I get mailFrom peopleI love and trustAnd mix theirGolden

by William Curl, Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, CA Hey, how’s the people? I realized not too long ago y’all be writing to prompts. I’ve gotten a few in the magazines but I always go on my own lil’ tangent. The other day I received some words from David and he included some prompts wit “HOPE” being a potential subject. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to talk about that! After existing so long without it I have a spiritual appreciation for it. HOPE is a real deep word. It’s synonymous with love in way of trying to articulate what

by Richie Angulo, Avenal State Prison in Avenal, CA A few months ago my friend Mark recommended the book, “Healing The Shame That Binds You,” by John Bradshaw. It’s rare that a self-help book catches my attention, however this book turned my life upside down (in a good way). Reading this book allowed me to connect some dots from my past that I desperately needed. Author Bradshaw distinguishes between healthy shame as an emotion versus toxic shame that can become an identity. Unfortunately, I allowed toxic shame to consume my life and strip me of the man I was supposed

by Efren Bullard, Ironwood State Prison in Blythe, CA I gave everything I got when I walked away from that old negative life style. I gave up friends that I knew since I was a child. I gave up hanging with them because I understood that nothing will ever come from violence.  The moment I walked away from negativity my whole world opened up to new adventures. I began to see myself free one day. I didn’t care what people had to say about me because this is my life and I’m the only one who can live my life.

by Flo, San Quentin State Prison, CA I never gave much thought to the reason why I enjoyed the company of others as an adolescent. For as long as I could remember I have always been this extroverted social butterfly. I was both a good student and class clown. Even in serious discussions I can conjure a joke. I was an entertainer. On the surface it seemed pretty healthy. There was no real harm in that, no signs of dysfunction right? However, there were a bevy of underlying issues not realized.  I was in an abusive household. Fear, lead me

by Jose “RawRaw” Robles, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA Playing Cops and RobbersNo more time it has expiredDaylight shines the night retiredNo more waiting in the shadowsThe light retreats it is that hourBack and forth in night and dayHide and seek the game we playNo more tag and now you’re itNow it’s toe tag if you’re hit.For My MommaA mother’s love for her childUnconditional true and pureEven as a grown man with flawsHer eyes look at me with tender patienceBecause I will always be her childThough she can no longer carry me in her armsAs when I was

by Shon Pernice, Moberly Correctional Center in Moberly, Missouri Cheating happens for a variety of self-centered excuses. Whether it is for revenge, loneliness, a high sex drive or being “unhappy,” infidelity boils down to an internal issue with the male ego: a low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.  I may be breaking some absurd guy code, however, I am guilty of being a chronic cheater during my marriage. My wife is deceased and I cannot look her in the eye, apologize, and attempt restitution. Furthermore, if I am able to bring solace to another woman who has suffered from this

by Michael Sperling, San Quentin State Prison, CA My father mentally, physically, and emotionally abused me as a kid. He stripped me of my innocence and took my childhood away from me. He broke me as a child. It was so bad that I literally had to invent an alter ego to protect myself.  I did this to avoid dealing with that child whom was a broken victim. This alter-ego that I created was going to be no joke! I’m going to be someone you don’t want to mess with. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s victim anymore.  So, I