I’d ask why they couldn’t save me
And why they’ve been taking my family on the daily
Why they take my best friends, Hailey and Bailey
And lately I’ve just been feeling like I’ve been going crazy
But maybe
This is just the way it’s supposed to be
But I no longer fear it
‘Cause I feel the Lord is close to me
He restored my hope
That I’d one day be free
Yeah He helped me cope
With all these lonely nights of incarceration
Missing my family man
My heart is achin’
The only way that I can express myself
is through this art I’m makin’
Author: mpau@thebeatwithin.org
Volume 23.47/48
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 23.47/48
Greetings from chilly, Portland, Oregon! We have spent the last few days up in beautiful Portland, as we work to get our writing workshops back up and running inside the Donald J. Long Juvenile Hall, given our longtime partner, PSU (Portland State University) Capstone is no longer running the groups. The exciting part, probation wants to continue The Beat Within and helped us to arrange a volunteer orientation, which we held the other day. We had over 11 participate in the orientation, many very familiar with doing workshops during their time at PSU. Today, the best part, we are back
Continue ReadingNothing Lasts Forever
Twenty years ago, as I attended my father’s funeral I was overwhelmed with grief. My way of coping with my feelings was to hold them in. I believed that it was a sign of weakness to cry and to talk about my feelings of loss and grief. I believed it was easier to mask the pain I felt by getting high.
However, those feeling combined with the other hurts and pains I had bottled up over the years, led me to make the horrific, violent decision to hurt others. I believed that no one cared, and no one understood me.
I was hurting, plus I wanted others to feel the pain I was feeling. As a result, I murdered two innocent human beings and was sentenced to thirty-four years-to-life. I thought my feelings of past traumas and loss would never go away.
Continue ReadingOver Again
by Angel A do over would be a really good thing to have because I wish I could take back what I did that got me in here. I hate the fact that I’m locked up because I’ve lost so much time with the ones I care about most. I would only take the do over if I could still be who I am because I hated who I was turning into. My mom didn’t even know who I was. I kept distancing myself from my family. Those are the reasons why I would only take the do over. I realized
Continue ReadingVolume 23.45/46
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 23.45/46
Greetings friends of The Beat Within! Welcome to double issue 23.45/46! This magazine that you have in your hands, like other issues, took a lot of hard work and effort from all of our staff and dedicated writers to complete. We would like to send a big shout-out to everyone: from all the counselors and teachers inside the various Juvenile Halls that we do workshops in, to all our workshop facilitators, editors, graphics lay-out designer, and all the juvenile hall youth, the Ranches, community based organizations, schools, and all our friends and writers from our BWO Section that are locked
Continue ReadingAdvice To My Younger Self And For All Of You
by Bobby Bostic As I sit back and meditate on the many mistakes that I have made in life, I contemplate on the advice that I would give to my younger self. Then again, I wonder would he listen? My fourteen, fifteen, or sixteen-year-old self, thought he had it all figured out. He rebelled against adults, because in his young mind they didn’t know what they were talking about. How could they, since they couldn’t see the world through his eyes. Ironically, now that I am older I see things differently. When we are young we somehow put it in our
Continue ReadingLight Beginning
by Angel “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” I agree. New beginnings are painful. When you try something new, you always end up failing and maybe never trying it again. You go day by day never really noticing what unique factors that you never knew you would have. It’s really insignificant, but it’s reality. Since I’ve been locked up, I’ve been changing. It wasn’t easy, but I’m still in the process. I’ve had a struggle like everyone else has their own. I’ve wasted seventeen years going on to eighteen years of my life to finally realize I’m broken.
Continue ReadingThe Beat Within – Litquake 2018
One of the West Coast’s most beloved annual literary festivals, this smart, eclectic, 76% free ten-day gathering draws booklovers of all ages and backgrounds to enjoy words and ideas, straight from the artists’ mouths. Now with 160 venues in its 19th year, the festival’s uniquely portable format provides even greater access to literature. More info here.
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