by ER, Stanislaus
Some things in life aren’t always easy to accept. Maybe it’s guilt. You might be ashamed or maybe you don’t want to believe that this is reality. But everybody needs a reality check or an eye-opener. I’m ER, I’m currently in juvenile hall, Stanislaus County. It’s been about a week and I still have seventeen more days until my next court date. Not sure if I’ll even make it out. Hopefully a placement is found for me. That’s the only way I’ll have a chance to make it out.
My poor decisions are making it hard for me. Running away, drug use, getting caught up with law enforcement. Yes, I’m in control of my decisions, but when you grow up with parents like mine, it’s different. Dad trying to keep the bills paid, working a hundred and ten hours a week, two full-time jobs and mom is the only one getting up to go get this check on payday and put all of it towards pills, locked in her room for three years, my brother thirteen, me (at the time twelve), and three little siblings.
I’m sixteen now, my brother/best friend is currently locked up in county jail. He had his education taken due to our parents’ selfishness. Now my mom has an outstanding warrant out for her arrest. Not on pills no more, but is now on dope.
As for my dad, he got sole custody of my two little sisters and my littlest brother (my world!). It’s been about four years since I last seen or talked to them. My dad left us to fend for ourselves. My mom didn’t want to be a mom, so me and my brother have been running the streets for four years, stripped of our innocence.
My brother been acting out, but you can’t blame him. He’s consistently in and out of jail. Me, I’m locked up just because I tried to find shelter because it gets pretty cold in December.
This is just a paragraph from a whole book series nobody knows about me. Since nobody’s done it, I had to put my “big girl panties” on and give myself an eye-opener. I’m not a victim. I’m a survivor! What don’t break me shall make me.