by Marco Antonio Ramirez, Avenal State Prison in Avenal, CA
When my journey started and when I first began to meet people, I would come across a variety of different people that I think would be interesting to copy and develop a mix between them all.
Of course, these personalities weren’t positive. They were negative like the characters that are in the Batman series. I would walk and collect a little bit of the negative personality from one person, and then collect a little bit of the negative from another person.
I ended up talking and acting like the Joker from the Batman Series. In an environment where the streets are dominated by gangs and the results for many youngster is end up being another puppet in this lifestyle. In my case it was like this because I was the one that ended up making the decision to talk like someone toxic.
I still remember like if it were yesterday laying in bed wit’ the law of attraction envisioning of being a popular youngster and well respected. In this vision I saw violence, crime and drug addiction. I wanted people to remember me as soldier and gladiator that lost his life in battle and gave his life for his gang.
I wanted to be the rudest and cruelest the world has ever seen. I wanted for people to respect me, fear me and cry for me just at the thought of hearing my name and for leaving this world too soon. Obviously these thoughts were back then, in my early days.
Finally, the blindfold was removed from my eyes and this way of being remembered was a big mistake. For this false goal of mine, many people were seriously hurt and just to find out later that someone as toxic as the person I described in my vision is always forgotten the very next day. No one will remember him again in life.
Today in life, that vision of me wanting people to remember me in that sort of way has changed and replaced with the lonely nights of silence in my dorm. As I lay in my bed, I construct a different way, in which people will remember me once I finally get to they end of my days, very comfortably and carefully.
The ass kicks that life will give you will be your final memories on this earth. These memories allow the following: I want people to tell my story of how I escaped the grips of the darkest kind of lifestyle that ever existed, like a Phoenix Sun soaring high, shining brightly amongst the dark ashes of the volcano.
I want to be remembered as someone who asked for forgiveness for all the bad I did and lived the rest of my life making amends for all the pain I caused. I want to be remembered as the strongest person in the world for overcoming my drug addiction.
I want to be remember as that guy who was able to heal his heart aside from all the pain that it carried. I dismantled the false beliefs, of toxic personalities, bad habits and was able to heal my pain.
The vision and the new goal gives wind in stern and the beautiful memories develop every day.
The good things, just like the bad things in life, are never forgotten.
So, ask yourself, how would you like to be remembered?