Days In The Hall, Reflecting

by Mando, San Mateo

I hate jail. It’s always the same thing every day. I hate getting told what to do all day long. Something I’m looking forward to is court. I have court soon, ten days from today. I’m not getting out soon. I know that for sure. 

I saw my mom today and my step dad. It was good to see them. I only get to see them for an hour though. That sucks. My mom gave me a book called Adrift. I guess it’s about a couple that gets lost at sea and it’s based on a true story. There’s also a movie. Lately, I been reading a lot and working out. I also like to read the homework packets all the time. 

When I was growing up, around seven years old, I never listened at all in school and I didn’t pay attention. I couldn’t sit still. I would always be sent out of class but from there I would just go home. At seven, I knew my way home. 

I remember one day I was walking home and I saw someone getting jumped and I was afraid to look because I thought they might beat me up. I remember running home and my mom was home. I told her what I had seen. She told me that’s what happens when kids don’t listen and run the streets. From then, I never ditched school that whole year. 

When I was ten years old I remember me and my boys broke car windows and looked inside them and we did it because we thought it was funny to break windows. One day we did the same thing and someone called the cops on us. I remember the cops asking our names and stuff. 

At the time I didn’t know my mom’s number. I remember my friend telling on me to the cops, saying it was my idea and that he was sorry. I can’t remember too much but my mom said she had to pay $1,500 for what I did. I felt hella bad for what I did. I still did bad things but nothing that dumb and stupid. 

When I get out I want to do a lot of fun things with my family. I want to be with my family and have one of my own. Right now, I am fighting a serious case and won’t go home probably for years and years. 

The thing I pray for is for me to get out when I’m 25. Right now I’m sixteen, almost seventeen. This cage is hurting me, my family and loved ones. I miss my sisters and lil’ cousins so much and I might not be able to see them for a very long time. 

If they charge me as an adult then it’s going to hurt me so bad. I have not done bad at all. I am a good person to my community. So whenever I do get out I’m going to get a job and take care of my family and make a family of my own. 

I think I would have been a good kid if I had a father figure in my life. Right now I’m in a hole that I cannot get out of. The only person that could help me right now is the lord. I pray to the lord everyday all day long to set me free and to take care of my loved ones. 

I asked the Lord to give me a second chance at life. I feel like my prayers are never answered at all. I know the lord exists but I never get my prayers answered. We had church today. I always go. We sang songs and read the bible and I felt the lord with me. 

When I get out I also want to tell kids who are like me to stop the street shhh because I have a story to tell these kids and I want them to do better.