by Jesse Manuel Ventura, Ironwood State Prison in Blythe, CA
Christmas to me at this time is a reminder of the conclusion of another year that has culminated understanding the events that have taken place by absorbing all the bad with the good and after twenty years of being incarcerated I miss and love my family and friends so very much.
The truth is that at this time in Christmas we are in a year living with a deadly virus that has spread worldwide where so many lives have been lost or have a loved one affected by this virus and them being sick. For us in prison understanding that we will not be able to receive visits from family and friends, and having no control over the truthful fact, all we can do is pray that we may all find serenity in the world to accept not spending quality time with family and friends, however making our presence felt to all of them by writing or calling them, as well as choosing to be a positive man and affecting everyone I come in contact with by being a positive experience to their lives.
I understand that this self-growth came to me after all the pain and suffering I have underwent living through this awful experience that forever has changed me. Being in prison, locked away from society is not normal and I will not glorify it. I have learned to not let my past behavior which got me a life sentence in prison to define me as a man, however I did learn from my struggle and seek its purpose. By doing so I now know the power of my thoughts and choose to live a life of positivity in a place where it’s dark, lonely, filled with helplessness and despair may be learned.
Use your emotions to achieve a productive end it your ultimate aptitude to learn optimism and regain your hope. In order to visualize what can occur, at times can be a very well learned skill by not taking such a holiday for granted. You need to find the true gifts that don’t consist of presents or material under a tree you receive or that you give, knowing the gifts lies within you by being able to hug, kiss and be able to be present physically and emotionally there for your family and friends is the true gift.
You are also turning one year older and with this you must remember that our life today was our choice yesterday. Never dwell on the past for what was done five minutes ago cannot be changed. Time waits for no one and there’s no amount of money that can ever buy you a second of time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today…the right now is a gift and why it is called the present. I do pray that you do something that your future self will be grateful and thankful for. Our actions and decisions today will shape the way we will be living in the future.
So, Christmas to me at this time is a blessing for I’m alive, healthy and have learned to love myself. By doing so, I now know and possess the gift of loving my mom, Marina Sosa, my brother, Walter Marchante, my daughter, Francis Ventrua, and grand babies, also to love and respect my loving girlfriend, Nancy Barrios, and above all my loving God.
The year 2020 Christmas to me will be an awesome day with the hopes of being able to receive visits to hug, kiss my family and friends, being that due to the pandemic we have not seen, hugged or kissed them since March, 2020. That is nine months of difficult hardships I cannot get back. I now hold dearly even more the privilege of receiving visits and enjoy whole heartedly the moment I so happen to be with them again. To show them how much I appreciate them individually.
For those of you reading this may you find peace, strength and happiness. Know that the best is yet to come. Christmas to me at this time is a blessing having written this message.
With love and respect….