Who I Am Now

by Binh Nguyen, California State Prison, Solano in Vacaville, CA

After many years of using drugs and committing crimes to avoid dealing with my problems, I’ve had enough. I wasn’t satisfied with the way my life was going. I was tired of living a criminal lifestyle. I was a prisoner in my own distorted thoughts and desperately needed to free myself. CHANGE was a matter of life or death for me. I chose LIFE.

Today, I have been clean and sober for three years and seven months. I am living a life in recovery by applying the 12-steps into my everyday life. I am making daily amends by offering my time to others who may be struggling with something in their lives. Currently I am a Drug and Alcohol Counselor in training. I plan to use my training to help those who are struggling with their addiction. 

My goal and purpose in life is to reach out to adults and youth at risk who may need some guidance or support to motivate them to change. I no longer have a desire to use drugs or go back to my criminal ways. I like myself today. I like the person that I am and the service I am providing. The reward of helping others change is a different high that I am chasing today.

I no longer see the world as an unsafe place, instead I wake up each day trying to make it a better place and help people free themselves from the hold of addiction. When I am being of service to others, not only I get to keep my sobriety, but I get to keep myself out of trouble. With my renewed sense of self-worth, I no longer need other people’s approval or acceptance to feel good about myself. 

Through my education and self-help classes, I have regained my confidence. My heart has healed from the wrong that were done to me and the wrongs that I have done to others. Through this healing, I am able to have empathy, love and compassion for others. Most importantly, God is in my life and everything I do is through Him and for Him.