Ed Note 23.51/24.01

Welcome to our year-end double issue, 23.51/24.01. What a year we have had! Thank you all for making The Beat Within the success that it is. We could not do it without you all. As for this issue, there is so much good writing that awaits you readers, we are grateful you stopped by this latest editorial note. As some of you know, we have an amazing partnership with the students at the Urban School of San Francisco. Throughout the school year (for some even during the summer) our high school interns are hard at work transcribing pieces of The Beat Without and supporting our community workshops. Here we’re featuring the reflections of two of our interns, Tara and Sally, who both provide insight into their experiences. In Tara’s piece, the pieces of The Beat Without are like a portal in her hands, fostering a sense of connection to an individual she’ll never know face-to-face. In Sally’s essay, The Beat has given her a chance to see incarcerated folks as individuals, rather than a group solely defined by their common circumstance. We’re so grateful for our partnership with the Urban School, and to be able to work with young people on the outs to challenge perceptions of incarceration. Stay tuned for more of our interns’ reflections! Enjoy the following!

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The Demise That Opened My Eyes

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world,” said Nelson Mandela (1918-2013). The word ‘Education’ is derived from the Latin word ‘Educere,’ which means: “to rear, to lead forth.”

In other words, it is something used to move and propel one forward. With this in mind, one might ask his or her self the question: What is it that leads me forward today? What drives me to think, act, and respond the way I do?

As a young kid growing up on the streets of East San Jose, I never really asked myself this question, nor did I take education seriously. Honestly, as long as I was good at being a criminal, who needed education? I could make hundreds of dollars a week living a life of crime, and I didn’t need a degree for that. So, looking back, being a thug is what motivated me. That’s what propelled me.

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Advice From My Incarcerated Father

by Spookes I got character from my father yesterday.  He told me a lot of true things, that I have done wrong in the past and to be honest I got sad, because he called me out on what I did wrong.   When my father wrote to me from prison, I felt joyful, because I needed some advice from a father figure.  After I read the letter I cried because he told me that I was making him hurt with my life decisions.   He told me I was lucky to have a support system that wants to help.  My father

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Ed Note 23.49/50

Greetings friends! We welcome you wonderful readers and supporters to yet another fabulous double issue (23.49/50) of writing and art from the inside and beyond!  We are certainly thrilled that you have this one-of-a-kind publication in your hands. As is the case with each issue, there is plenty of solid standout writings from our many contributors – from our young and old who deliver their truths from inside the numerous detention facilities we visit, to those who send their submissions to us via snail mail, as well as those in the free world who courageously share their truths each week! 

This week we welcome to our editorial section the reflections of two of our high school interns from the Urban School of San Francisco, Melia and Yudi. 

These past few months we’ve had the pleasure of working with fifteen Urban students as they transcribed writing for our Beat Without pages, immersing themselves into the thoughts of our prolific writers. 

In Melia’s, “A World Without Borders,” she explores the breakdown of the single-story narrative, and in her words, how “those living inside do not have one identity that is defined by suffering.” 

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While I’m Here

I murdered him. I stabbed him fifty-one times in his sleep, and now his name likely evokes in people close to him funny, warm and wonderful memories of a man they still love. And then it evokes pain because they remember, they realize suddenly after a happy thought and a smile that he was brutally taken from them for no real reason. Their guts wrench hard. They are saddened. They are angered. They remember that they are lonely and hurting without the treasured piece of their lives that I so callously took from them – their son, their brother, their friend, Carlos. “It wasn’t his time!” they yell furiously all at God and at me and at nobody… But only nobody hears them.

Obviously, I cannot return that precious heart-piece to them. I cannot bring Carlos back – no matter that I wish more desperately every day that I could. In fact, there is nothing I can ever do to make up for this horrible wrong I committed, I know, or for all the harm I’ve caused. Not with my own blood. Not with a lifetime in prison. For there is no justice for murder. So there is definitely no way for me to justify my actions. Though I have spent many years behind these walls trying do that exactly.

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If These Streets Could Speak

I’d ask why they couldn’t save me
And why they’ve been taking my family on the daily
Why they take my best friends, Hailey and Bailey
And lately I’ve just been feeling like I’ve been going crazy
But maybe
This is just the way it’s supposed to be
But I no longer fear it
‘Cause I feel the Lord is close to me
He restored my hope
That I’d one day be free
Yeah He helped me cope
With all these lonely nights of incarceration
Missing my family man
My heart is achin’
The only way that I can express myself
is through this art I’m makin’

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Ed Note 23.47/48

Greetings from chilly, Portland, Oregon!  We have spent the last few days up in beautiful Portland, as we work to get our writing workshops back up and running inside the Donald J. Long Juvenile Hall, given our longtime partner, PSU (Portland State University) Capstone is no longer running the groups. The exciting part,  probation wants to continue The Beat Within and helped us to arrange a volunteer orientation, which we held the other day. We had over 11 participate in the orientation, many very familiar with doing workshops during their time at PSU.  Today, the best part, we are back

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