Category: The Beat Without

by Richie F. Angulo, Avenal State Prison in Avenal, CA When you were growing up, who was our worst enemy? Was it the neighborhood kid or the school yard bully? As I reflect on my life, I remember very well that I was always hiding from my worst enemy. It didn’t matter if I was in school, playing baseball on the field, or at the store with my parents, my worst enemy had a way of keeping me on my toes. I was afraid, always on the move. I needed to be one step ahead of him. So you’re probably

by Charles Reece,  San Quentin State Prison, CA April 21st, 2020 at 9am I was transported to Marin General Hospital for my long overdue prostate surgery that I had been waiting on for twenty-two months. I should have been given the surgery no later than one month after discovery of the prostate cancer in June of 2018. A prisoner is never transported to outside medical facilities more than thirty minutes before their appointment for security reasons, therefore my surgery should have taken place no later than 10am but didn’t. The two guards and I arrived at the hospital five minutes

by Floyd D. Collins, San Quentin State Prison, CA So what exactly is freedom? Being a lifer with a possibility of parole you would think I would say freedom is outside these walls, on the other side of this gate. Well, I do feel this is only a part of freedom. For me freedom is being my authentic self. What this means is being the person God created me to be. Having a strong and clear peace of mind is freedom. Now I know how to have a good day, even when everything and everyone may feel it’s bad. I

by Raul Higgins, San Quentin State Prison, CA In the midst of the infirmities and traumatic memories of this deadly Coronavirus pandemic, it continues to linger on in the cells of San Quentin. However, with watchful eyes and cautious paranoia, it’s not an option to let my guard down, either. With the power of prayer and the courageous pillars of our communities it inhales a natural breath of resilience.  Then it exhales the most power-fullest currency in prison-HOPE! A hope that’s resuscitated my second wind. Drifting through a wind-tunnel of looming dark shadows and haunting fears that have rattled my

by Keith Erickson, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA As a child, I never imagined that my favorite place in the world, my world, would be a park bench in a California State Prison. I find the most serene moments being suspended in time, right there adjacent to the inmate soccer field.  It’s a place that I have walked by thousands of times over without as much as a second glance. A place where taking a moment to just sit and relax my legs, would require me pausing for a period of time, disrupting my doing absolutely nothing at

by William Curl, SATF in Corcoran, CA …I’m on my twenty sixth year of incarceration. I’m no longer the immature kid who had no idea how to properly process the emotional trauma from my childhood. I’m sure none of you woke up one morning and said, “Today I’m goin’ to join a gang or become a criminal.” That’s not how it works. It’s a process that starts with the way we were raised, be it household, environment, some traumatic experience in our childhood caused us to embrace an antisocial way of thinking.  It’s all about perspective. The way we perceive

by Torrey Thomas, San Quentin State Prison, CA I am doing great and as always thank you for giving all incarcerated people a chance to have our voices heard on such an amazing platform. As I write this letter on April 5th, I am currently in “the Hole”. I’m waiting on my transfer that should happen in a couple more days.  As I am aware all inmates in San Quentin who are age 25 and under will leave and go to a prison called Valley State. This is because of a program called Youth Offender Program (YOP). So far I’m

by Q. Paige, San Quentin State Prison, CA Something that is equally hard to receive as well as give. Some might even think they’re not even deserving of it. Webster Dictionary defines “Forgiveness” as to give up resentment, pardon. Webster Thesaurus defines it as, release from the guilt or penalty of an offense.  With both of these definitions do you feel you can give or receive forgiveness? Me personally I can give it all day, but I’m one of those who feels they’re not deserving of it. I’ve made some horrible mistakes in my life, some to where some might

by Efren Bullard, Centinela State Prison in Imperial, CA My name is Efren Bullard and I use to write to you guys about 20 years ago. I know that the youngsters back then are no longer incarcerated in your system, but I found your address and wanted to share my life story again with the youth of today because it’s important for them to hear the truth about the path their taking… ”I was arrested November 6th, 1993 at the age of 18 for two first degree count of PC. 187, plus 23 counts of Robbery. I was looking at

by Q. Paige, San Quentin State Prison Something everyone wants but is bias in their own act of accepting. Webster Dictionary defines acceptance as “The act of accepting.” Webster Thesaurus defines accept as “to have favorable opinion of. Then they lead you to approve (of).”  Let’s speak of the Thesaurus definition of accept because I think that’s right on the money. To accept someone there has to be favorable qualities about them to even get you to consider. As I spoke of in my autobiography, “Too Black For Some, Not Back Enough For Others.” I had a very hard time