Category: The Beat Without

by Efren Bullard, Ironwood State Prison in Blythe, CA I write because it’s very important that I do my best to expose the violence that so many are comfortable with. Not only did I kill two people, I took away a son, brother, cousin, uncle, nephew, grandchild, father and friend to so many, the moment I decided to pull the trigger.  I change so many lives and I understand that I violated the trust of so many people that I can never say sorry enough to the family of my victims or the victims I robbed. I can’t imagine what

by Tommy Traughber, Pleasant Valley State Prison in Coalinga, CA The house was dark and quiet. The only noise was the constant hum that was coming from the swamp cooler encased in the frame of our bedroom window. I lay there awake in my bed, as my brother, Billy, slept soundly in the bed atop of mine.  Like many nights, I lay there with my thoughts running rampant about the dream my brother Billy and I had shared for as long as I can remember, which was to be the world’s greatest wrestling tag-team. It had been all that we

by James Dickson, CTF Central Soledad in Soledad, CA If you think defunding the police will in some sort of idiotic way change the color tone of our inner cities to a rose pink then you need your head examined. The police were here before you were born and will be here long after you die. Defunding the police makes as much sense as extracting the teeth from “your” family guard dog. If you think it’s okay to ignore an officer’s direct order when they attempt to pat you down for weapons but you choose to fight, wrestle and resist,

by Chad “Get Right” Fitzpatrick, Moose Lake, Minnesota In one of my other writings titled “opportunities” that I sent to The Beat Within, I talked about an Old School named R.M. (R.I.P) who on my 3rd day in prison as a 22 year old with a 24 year sentence to do, gave me a positive run down of how to do prison life and take advantage of all the opportunities available to us behind these walls. Which brings me to this quote that a teacher here at my facility I’m at said:  “Self-improvement is not just checking off boxes or

by Armando Gonzalez, San Quentin State Prison, CA In the middle of quick purposeful strides towards the young man I intend to beat on I am stopped by, “He has a gun!”  Literally arm’s length away, I pause to ask him, “What’s up, you strapped or what?” Thinking that as he pulls the gun out, I can take it away from him. Instead, I see the barrel point up at me from inside the pocket of the heavy jacket he had on. I couldn’t think to do anything else but twist and basically try to hide behind my own arm.

by Jaymone K. Lewis, otosi Correctional Center in Mineral Point, Missouri What thoughts are enveloping your conscious at this moment? Think beyond the words that you are consciously reading right now and really try to grasp the deepest thoughts possible. What drew your mind to want to look into the thoughts of others? Was it boredom? Curiosity about other forms of human Nature? Or did you want to trade shoes with someone else temporarily and have any relevance to yours. I asked those questions to get your brain running while also opening a door to deeper thinking. Why? Because life

by Harry C.Goodall Jr., San Quentin State Prison, CA There are times that our fear can be just as a big a barrier as a brick wall. This real life issue presents itself when it comes for us recovering from trauma. When I think of all the things that would make me grown I was lost. When I was younger, parts of me that thought if I could hold my liquor, I could be grown. There was even a part of me that thought if only I had money I would have power and respect. That money could buy any

by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison, CA I am 42 years old, my birthday is May 24th, I was first arrested at the age of six years old. I didn’t go inside Juvenile Hall until I was fourteen. Between 6-14 I was in police stations, probation courts, community service, “scared straight” program where we took a tour of Corcoran State Prison (back in 1990). My dad had been to prison, my Uncle was on B-yard in Corcoran, during my “tour” to scare me straight. There was no “tactic” to trick me into being a “good kid.” No one could

by Terkesha Lane, Federal Detention Center in Miami, Florida This is not a letter due to my current circumstances of being in prison. I have always felt this way about my children. Year after year, the older they became, I fell more in love with them. Their personalities, different but interesting moods, little quirks, the craziness (which I’m sure came from me) just the small things most people would not notice, like how they change when they are sleepy, different study habits, the educational subjects each of them liked or disliked, even how they arranged their clothing closet.  Yes, I

by Chad Fitzpatrick, Correctional Facility in Moose Lake, Minnesota I recently watched a movie on T.V called “Freedom Writers.” It’s about a teacher who encourages her sophomore English class who many are from the inner-city and are gang members to write in a journal every day. It didn’t matter what it was they wrote or how much they wrote as long as they wrote in it every day. They would not be graded on it nor would they be read unless they wanted her to read them. Every time I see that movie it inspires me more to keep on