by Chad Fitzpatrick, MCF Stillwater, Bayport, Minnesota Where do I want my life to go? How do I want to be remembered? What’s my endgame? This is about my journey thought the prison system. I’ll never paint a pretty picture of prison because it is not. Some days are worse than others and prison is a violent place. It is my experience and opinion that the system is cruel and it is designed to humiliate us. It is their goal to prove that we’re nothing and we have given up in the name of discipline and punishment. In prison, I’m
Continue ReadingAuthor: mpau@thebeatwithin.org
Volume 26.09/10
Please contact Lisa Lavaysse if you would like to purchase the full PDF or a printed copy of this issue.
Continue ReadingEd Note 26.09/10
Greetings all! Welcome to our latest double issue, 26.09/10. This issue, like every one of our issues, is full of thoughtful stories, ideas, commentary, stream of consciousness, artistic expression and poems. The writings are incredibly powerful and for us it is such an honor to create this platform for all to read, find inspiration and learn by. We appreciate all you contributors, young and old, featured in this issue. This week, like last issue, we are highlighting the reflections of two our student interns from the Urban School of San Francisco. These students have been working hard and diligently during
Continue ReadingResilience
by Lil’ Gucc, San Mateo I have recently read that people that have gone through the most have the most character. Well, actually I read a couple of quotes that suggest that. One of my favorites is, “Character is a virtue of hard times.” Sometimes I sit and think, “What does this mean?” I think it’s only hard for me to comprehend because I still really don’t understand the meaning of virtue. From what I do know or at least from what I perceive is that your character is how you take your hard times and run with them. Some
Continue ReadingAfraid Of Change
by Yoshua, San Mateo I’m going to write about the “Afraid of Chance” topic we had in The Beat Within. Answering the question about looking at my life in the big picture or the little things in life that need work. I honestly looked at it in the big picture, but I don’t think there are any little or big things that need changing in my life. At least I see it that way. Maybe there are other people in my life that don’t. To answer the question on why I’m afraid to change is, well actually, I don’t think
Continue ReadingMy Last Chance To Make This Right
by Bradley, Sonoma I was sentenced to placement, but though if I just did my absolute best through the program and not allow my anger to come out, I could just be the same person when I got out. I would describe that mindset that I was in as the “fake it ‘till you make it” attitude. I didn’t truly want change for myself, but after a few months of doing good, and “faking it,” without working on myself, I snapped. I was just putting the anger, the regret, and the sadness that I was building up further and further
Continue ReadingI Am My Worse Enemy
by E, Sacramento I’m my own worst enemy, simply because I feel like I give up on myself a lot. Like sometimes, I will start to do something and then halfway through it, I’ll just give up on myself and get lazy and lose all my confidence. Even not just doing things, but even when I’m in here. I struggle with myself in my own mind and start to think about all the things I’ve done and beat up on myself. And I get down and out a lot. I’m also my own worst enemy because I do a lot
Continue ReadingA Chance
by Michael Mackey The person who deserves a chance from me is my daughter, Adriana. I guess you can say I want a second chance, and please let me break it all down. I raised her. I was there for her growing up, as a baby, changing her diapers, making meals, and bottles. I learned how to do her hair all because of her. I couldn’t stand it when someone was doing her hair, tightly, or hurting her, that drove me crazy. See my daughter is light skin, a red bone some would say, so she turns all shades of
Continue ReadingGrandma Cried
by Jesse Ayers, San Quentin State Prison, CA I stood in my grandmother’s kitchen watching her cry. I could have reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. All I had to do was step over to her and I could have put my arm around her. The idea of hugging her never crossed my mind at all. Growing up in my house, I never saw anyone cry. There was hysterical laughter, annoying screeching and girls shrieking. Occasionally my dad would show-up and who knew what type of mood he would be in, when the roar of a lion
Continue ReadingForks In The Road
by Anthony Billings, Pleasant Valley State Prison, in Coalinga, CA They say hindsight vision is 20/20 and it’s hard not to agreeSo in this year of 2021 this is written to help guide and leadTime travel is not an option, otherwise I would have planned itTo go back to the seeds of my mistakes and prevent them from being plantedAlthough it’s too late for me and in a sense past my curfewThese lines are not meant for me but rather to be read by youStrive to excel in school because your grades actually matterAlso, maintain a healthy sense of humor,
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