-Titenesha, Central California Women’s Facility (CCCWF) in Chowchilla, CA
We can trudge any road if we choose too, we have to want to choose the right path. In life we are challenged to do better. That’s why we are given second chances.
However, if we did what we were supposed to in the first place we wouldn’t be faced with having to check ourselves or get ourselves out of the rut that we put ourselves in.
My daughter came to prison with me because she was missing out on what other little girls had and that was a mother. So, she chose to go down the road of self-destruction to get to me. I’m not saying that it was all roses but to see your child in a place of evil made me want better for myself.
When I first received my time, I had the attitude of indifference. It was because I felt that my children were well taken care of and they would be alright. I didn’t think like a mother because I was only a mother for a short amount of time. I can’t make excuses and I can’t make it up either.
The point is I was in here making all the wrong decisions like fighting, bullying, and most of all having no respect for any authority figure. When my child came here, I had to change my way of thinking. I also had to walk a straight and narrow path because even though I don’t have a date now, she did.
I want so much for her to make it out. She did not do so bad it the end, but in the beginning she tried to make a name for herself. She didn’t want to be known as my daughter. She wanted her respect because she earned it.
I allowed her to bump her head until enough was enough. I was eager to see how she was raised and if she was anything like me. She was a lot like me. I say that because she was determined to show me what love was from outside this place, and for that I was grateful. I didn’t mean to get a life sentence to be away from my children.
I loved them dearly. I just thought that I could save the world from heartache and pain. I realized that I caused more harm than good when I decided to do what I did to get here.