Frankie, Kern Valley State Prison in Delano, CA
Dear Beat Within community,
It feels great to get back into the program of inspirational conversations. How long will this conversation be? Who knows! Sit back and if you saved up a snack from lunch, this will be the perfect time snack it (yes, I know, sad face, no coffee in juvie).
The long wasted nights and wasted days comes to mind! This contradicts my real feelings. I’m assuming we are all feeling the same? Singing in our minds, wasted days and wasted nights! All dressed up on the colors of our institution, knowing we are in our own lock up program or “American Me” movie. Ha, ha tantaranta, taratan, tan, tan.
I’m just a soul who’s intention are good. You vatos and homegirls know the rest of that song so let me get back into the subject of where we are living. Reading the last, latest issue of The Beat Within, really does prove what I just said about singing about sorrow, but yet, feeling great! Especially if you really think about all that we have to do.
I know, I know, different units offer more programs and Max units it’s mostly reading and talking to your cell mate or neighbor (if you’re in C mode). Well, that means single cell and lots more reading with plenty of naps. Ha, ha, ha, that will be you! Always napping, talking about, wake me up in a few days, boo… ha ha.
What I’m really saying is, if we really pay attention and value everything that we continue to get, we will see what really makes us happy. We will be able to see the people around us for what they really are.
I get it, rumor is that institutions were built to break people or correct our behavior, which makes no sense, I know. If you ask me, the outside world is crazier. To continue to be honest, if I start mentioning all I learned in juvie we will be here all night laughing and saying, man! That’s what I been doing!
But I’m not here to write my story, no, no, then get blamed for giving ideas, no, no… ha ha. What I will say is, that, at one point I used to be reading The Beat Within from our halls, but most importantly, always trying to get the prison Beat Within. Especially the one with culture and poems from San Quentin. Reading some of Tookie Williams books and knowing and thinking of his situation, my situation and well, how can someone not want to read some final words or final feelings?
Knowing where we are, where are we heading or where we can end, it’s just as my little sister would say, “super bananas!”
Think about it, there will be little dudes stressing over three months or facing group home or ranch, but then they will come across a book such as “My Bloody Life” or “Monster” and they will see that there are even more worse dudes out. Many may be getting out soon and it’s like, little dude, you are stressing over the wrong thing.
Use this time to focus on you. I’m guessing this is the reason I would invite people to work out, well, till this very day! Feels good to see we are strong and what our body really needs.
I really never had a problem sleeping in juvenile hall. I admit it, I had to because I was working out! I was focusing on school, sports and weights instead of the PlayStation. Yes, movie day was great, but the thoughts of the next institution will grab my attention all over.
Do I regret not listening to the staff about staying in juvie for as long as I could? No! But I don’t have nothing against those that did or do like twenty years old and still in Juvenile, crazy. But like I said, I don’t regret heading to my next institution, but I will advise you all to really enjoy all that the institution offers.
Who cares if you become too familiar with the staff? Who knows? One day you might work there. I seen it happen and it’s all up to you! Thankfully, we are all in different situations! Open your eyes, move on and continue moving all. Be all that you can be!