-Jesse, San Quentin, CA
I first met Dave in 2018, when the world was a different place. Dave had a perpetual smile and an attitude of gratitude. He reminded me of what a modern-day beatnik, or second generation hippie from the city, would look like.
He shook my hand firmly, excitement in his eyes, his first question was of course, “How did you hear about The Beat?”
I had just recently been transferred to San Quentin, from Valley State Prison, where I was taking part in a writing class. Upon arrival in West Block, I used the telephone and noticed a billboard with a prompt, and the directions to B building.
The prompt was pretty simple. It had some type of a drawing and graffiti like letters The Beat Within. I never met anyone like Dave, before or since. The circle was an inviting and safe place to share. I felt like everyone cared, was empathetic, and that mattered most. No one tried to fix my problems, or cure my pain, they just felt my feelings.
Dave always made me feel like he was eager to hear me share and couldn’t wait to see what I would write next. I never had anyone so excited to hear what I thought and felt about situations or topics that were in the prompts. Dave really made me feel like I mattered and that whatever was inside of me needed to be heard by others. I felt like somebody, for the first time in my life.
I miss Dave in a way that can’t really be explained. How does one miss a man that he doesn’t even know was gone? I paroled from San Quentin, July 4th 2022. I was sent to a halfway house in Santa Maria, CA in Santa Barbara County. Dave and I talked on the phone and exchanged text messages. He was so energetic, always on the go to San Diego to set up another juvenile center with The Beat.
Dave kept telling me we were gonna go to some of his favorite record stores in San Francisco together, listen to some of his favorites at his house, and bbq. He was so positive about life and full of hope for the future. He wanted me to go in with him to the juvenile detention centers so the readers of The Beat who asked about me could finally meet me face to face.
I had been texting Dave and not getting responses for a while and I just figured he was busy. I had been sent home from the halfway house, and my life was chaotic and crazy. Living with my parents, after thirteen years away, was wearing me thin and I didn’t know where to turn.
I started working at the local Home Depot and before I knew it a year had gone by. I still hadn’t heard from Dave. I finally reached out to Ali, to see if Dave had a new number or something. Ali told me she was so sorry that Dave had passed away from cancer, around the same time that I was leaving the halfway house. I didn’t even know the man was sick.
I never once ever heard Dave ask for help, or a prayer, or for anything… Chadwick Boseman (the actor from Black Panther) and Dave Inocencio are the only two people I ever heard of that died from cancer without ever whimpering or crying out in pain to get any attention or sympathy.
I think of Dave all the time. I always picture his place, by old candlestick park, where he would take walks and we would talk. I can see it in my mind even though I’ve never been there.
Freedom is a state of mind. Dave taught me to be free. Even if it’s only in my mind. The power of the pen is alive in The Beat Within. I went on to write several plays for the Marin Shakespeare Company, perform stand-up comedy, write songs, rap, and even bring people to tears with the poems I wrote.
This was all because Dave made me believe in myself. He believed in me, and let me tell you when Dave looked me in the eyes and told me, “I can’t wait to see what you write next,” I believed him.
The inspiration that David gave me will never die. I grew up in a household where a whisper of a dream was snuffed out so fast you felt cold and wished you’d never mentioned it. I learned to keep my mouth shut and my real thoughts and feelings to myself.
But not with David. He encouraged me and countless others to be open and honest. The thought provoking prompts were all I needed to formulate my thoughts and dig in deep. I will be forever grateful for the experiences I got to share with Dave and The Beat Within. I still plan to visit San Francisco and check out those ole record stores if they are still there.
Every time I share my truth with someone, I’m grateful for Dave that he gave me the opportunity and the courage. When I was a kid there was a TV show about guardian angels on called, “Highway to heaven,” with Michael Landon and Victor French.
Victor French always wore an A’s hat, and he and Michael Landon went around doing odd jobs and miracles. They were tuff and compassionate, down to earth and real. I feel like David was a guardian angel for so many of us, those of us lost in the system, tossed away like a crumpled up piece of paper.
David took the old, crumpled piece of paper out of the trash, unfolded it, cleaned it off, and said “try again.”
If you ever get a chance to encourage anyone, do it.
Be David for them.
They need you as much as we needed him.