-Andre, Santa Cruz
My life’s question or rather questions are what I am supposed to do? What is my purpose, my destiny? I am constantly faced with this question each and every time, and more and more I want an answer.
I want to know, and I want it to be clear as if in bright lights with a sign. I’m so eager to have my answer. This question came to me as I watched my mother but my dad as well. Was her purpose to be a mom? Was it her destiny? Was she meant to do it. Same with my father, was he supposed to work? Why was that? I’ve always wondered why did they have to work, struggle and fight for everything we had?
Was that their calling? Is it mine? I believe it’s to care for people. I found this through my siblings, taking care of them was second nature to me. I enjoyed it. I loved it. Although I’m uncertain how it will transition into my future. Will it be to care for my own children for my partner? What will it be? Could it change? How much will I change then? Letting go this is an aspect of life, of love and grief. I think it’s beautiful and sad.
Letting go of something and it hurting is terrible, it’s a pain words can’t explain. Losing someone or something dear to you will almost feel like losing a piece of yourself.
But that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s how you know it was real, that it meant something. It was worth so much.