Hello and welcome to our Beat community near and far! With longer days ahead and the fields in bloom, we’re so glad to have you with us today and always.
For this issue’s editorial note, we’re bringing our good friend and colleague OT to our pages as he reflects on his personal experience with one of our recent prompts, “Things I Hate to Hear.” No matter who or where we are, no matter our age or maturity level, there’s certain phrases coming from certain people that really gets our blood boiling. Welcome, Omar, to the editorial pages!
We welcome you readers back to another double dose edition of the one and only The Beat Within. It’s OT once again coming at you guys live from the land the quakes and shakes, and the hot volcanic rocks of Managua, Nicaragua.
I’m blessed and tasked once again to share some positive insight. It’s April, and Easter is rapidly approaching, the sun’s shining, flowers are blooming and spring is in full motion, like the waves in the ocean.
There is a lot of great writing to read for this current issue with a lot of amazing insight. People chimed in on variety of topics. There were just too many good topics to sit there and pick one. Two of my favorite topics were “What the Streets Have Cost Me” and “Things I Hate to Hear.”
I saw a lot of costly receipts for many of you that stated a list of things that the streets have cost you, but that’s what street life brings. One of the topics that stood out was “Things I Hate to Hear,” and it’s a trip; sometimes these topics are all intertwined together. I feel like for those that paid costly consequences for the street life, a lot of that happened because you didn’t want to listen to the people that cared about you telling you to slow down.
I think when it comes down to it, no one likes drinking a cup of one’s own truth. See, no one likes to hear their truths, nor have people tell them the truth:
“You’re too lazy.”
“All you do is smoke.”
“All you do is hang out with your friends.”
“All you do is party and don’t take care of your responsibilities.”
“You don’t help around the house.”
“You don’t complete your chores.”
“You need to get better grades.”
“You keep jeopardizing your life and freedom.”
All of this constructive criticism tingles your eardrums and sometimes, to a young person — even an older and supposedly more mature person — it can sound like nails on a chalkboard.
Matter of fact, it sounds so annoying that your ears turn red. It’s like you hear this ringing in your head that’s so bothersome that you even physically cover your hears with your fingers or your hands completely. I’ve seen people do it. It makes you respond to the person telling you the constructive criticism in a defensive way:
“I know, already!”
“Okay! Damn shhh!”
“You always tell me the same thing. Daaaang!”
I will not assume that all of you respond like that every single time, but for a good percentage of you that are incarcerated, it’s not your first time being locked up. You know the procedure: Once you are released, an adult has to come pick you up in order for you to go home because you are a minor. So that means the first time, second time, or even third time you were released to a family member — mom, dad or close relative (most likely your legal guardian) — had to come get you.
During that car ride home, that bus ride home, that Uber ride home, I’m sure conversations took place about you making better decisions. You were probably taken somewhere nice to eat or had a good home cooked meal waiting for you, or there was a bunch of food DoorDashed to the front door of your residence. You were spoiled, even though deep down inside you knew or felt that you may have not deserved it.
I remember each and every single time I got out of jail I would go home, eat me a carne asada burrito or a nice home-cooked meal from my aunt or grandma. I would take a shower and get ready to hear my feedback from my three uncles, my aunt, my mom and my grandma:
“Mijo, your abuelita wants to talk to you.”
“Here we go again,” I would say out loud to myself.
It was annoying. I was too young and immature to fully comprehend what they were saying. I was so deep into the streets, like a treasure chest buried at the bottom of the deepest part of the Indian Ocean. But it goes deeper than that.
Let me fast forward some twenty years later. There were still some inner demons that I was fighting with myself, and this time it wasn’t my family telling me things that I did not want to hear — it was my girlfriend, neighbors, and a couple of friends telling me that I was drinking too much. I was also smoking too much.
I would always respond and say, “I know, I’m going to quit soon.”
I was planning to quit, but in reality I couldn’t quit because of my addiction. I had never smoked cigarettes my entire life. I grew up smoking green tea instead because I always thought that was much healthier. But during and after the COVID pandemic, I couldn’t seem to stop smoking cigarettes tilll this very year, which is now 2025.
My son, Jayden David, was born November sixth, 2024 and I was still smoking, obviously not around him. I was a bit more cautious, and I was smoking less. I was drinking less. But… I was still doing it. I’m pushing close to forty, and I started to think to myself, I want to see my son graduate from high school. I want to be at his wedding. Shhh, I want to see my grandkids and take them to school. I want to play with them. I want to still be agile enough to show them how to hit a baseball and how to shoot a jump shot.
If I keep smoking and drinking, that’s not going to help me get there because even though the nicotine high helps release stress, and the alcohol effects helps us cope with stress and depression, it still ruins your body. So, guess what I did? Yep, I finally quit completely.
I’m not saying that I’m squaring up completely, but I’m getting healthier. I’m watching what I eat. I wake up early every day, go running and exercise. I’m more focused than ever to make sure I get to the finish line of this marathon called life.
I remember when I used to hate hearing, “you need stop smoking, or “you need to stop drinking.” It can stress you out — trust me, I know. It would stress me out just hearing it. I hated hearing it, but I don’t have to hear it anymore because I quit.
I feel great. I feel healthier and putting a smile on my son’s face every day is the highlight of my day. We don’t know when or how we will go when we have to leave this life, but I’m gon’ make sure that I do what I can to extend my life as long as I can so I don’t cheat my son out of not having a dad.
Now the things I hate to hear turned into things I love to hear:
“Good for you!”
“I’m proud of you.”
All I had to do was make a change. If I can do it, you can do it too. Don’t wait twenty years later. We all don’t get the same amount of time. I believe in y’all. OT is signing out with utmost love and respect to each everyone of y’all. Long live David Inocencio. The Beat keeps going and going…
Thank you, Omar, for bringing us on this journey with you and being vulnerable with us! We’re also proud of you for making the choices you need to be there for your son and your future. Cheers to your health and the long life ahead of you!
And cheers to you, reader, for the courage and strength you bring to the positive choices you make every day. It’s no easy task, and even though we may slip sometimes, what’s important is that we get ourselves back on track. The Beat Within is here for you in those slips, and we’re here to shine light on the way back to your path. We support you each and every day, in all the ways you arrive to us.
We hope you enjoy this latest publication, 30.15/16, and feel free to reach out anytime to connect. The Beat goes on!