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by Eric Curtis
My inner voice – Is there a voice in your head that speaks to you, that encourages you to go forward or warn you to slow down? For example, have your homies ever asked you to do something, but a voice in your head told you not to do it? Did you listen to that voice? If not, what happened? Where does that inner voice come from? Does that voice still talk to you even now? What does it say?
For over an hour, Kevin was trying to talk James into breaking into someone’s house. James knew if he didn’t go through with it, Kevin probably wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore. On top of that, Kevin might tell everybody at school the next day about how scared James was. That would be the worst, James thought.
Over the past summer, the two of them had done a lot: broken into a couple of cars, even set a few fires, but that was nothing compared to what Kevin wanted to do today. Twice James went home to use the bathroom, and twice James thought about not coming back. But he did.
I hate waking up in this cell knowing this is not a dream. I hate having the same damn food every day, even hearing the same ignorant voices and seeing the same faces. Drives me crazy, I feel like beating their heads, especially the ignorant ones.
Knowing that I’m going to be here a while sucks. I wish I can go home. After they find out that I’m innocent, I will sue them for everything they got, this shhh is so stupid.
When I get out, I plan to make some money, get the things I want and need. I hope when I get out I will be out of high school. Being out of high school is going to be great. All my friends have to go to school while I get to chill, drive around, get money, or start college.
I’m locked in a cell for a crime I did not commit. They want me to plead guilty, they say if I don’t I will be tried as an adult. I guess I got to do what needs to be done. I feel like I’m getting played this same bullshhh. I ask God every day, please give me the patience, and love and joy to get through this tribulation.
I have learned that being disrespectful gets me nowhere. I have learned to respect and love my parents for what they have done. I don’t want to live life hating them for all that they weren’t and lacked to do. I want to live life loving them for all that they did do.
I thank God for them. I have a mouth, and before I got locked up I did not give zero to one hundred shhhh’ about how I talked to my elders. Now I know that shhh talking them gets me nowhere. Communication will get me farther than what I would have thought. I had to learn the hard way.
When I get frustrated I tend to punch into my hand, walking back and forth. I slide my hands down my face as if I was about to tear it off. Then after, I try to smile and tell myself it’ll be okay. Most of the time a beer sounds good to calm the nerves, but not always will it be the solution. God has me though, I will be okay.
by Anthony “Aemys” Young
Where I went wrong in life, I made the choice to become a follower and be a part of a gang. I was always the type of person who didn’t care what the next person was doing, I did my own thing. When it came to school I loved it. I was a wonderful student, I also played sports basketball, football, and baseball. Through out my whole life gangs were always around me from family to friends but I always look passed that part of my life.
I was born June 10th 1992 in Gardena, California, my mother and father were strongly involved in my life, I have two older siblings and one younger brother and we all lived together in Compton, CA. My father was my best friend he was my baseball coach, and a supporting father, even though my father sold drugs and was a gang member he kept then thing from the household due to the respect of my mother and due to his family. My older brother was a gang member but I didn’t find out till I got older. My sister was a sport and school nerd as myself and younger brother. My family was a very close family until things went down hill due to a few deaths in my family.
My name is Jesus C. I would like to first thank my family for getting me get through these hard times. Melianna, Anthoni, Jessie, Daddy’s coming home soon!
I was introduced to The Beat by my brother Tolo who’s also a writer for The Beat. I’ve been in prison for a couple of years and I have two months left before I go home. It’s been a long rough road, but I’ve learned a lot and became well connected with myself. I’ve lost a lot, but me coming to prison was one of the best things that has happened to me. I needed this to slow down and pay attention to life and everything around me. I am no Angel but I have become a better man!
I would like to give some hope to everybody behind these walls. We’re already here so why not make the best of it. Always remember to always keep your head up! Never forget where you came from and what you’ve been through. Our past is the key to a better future. I am who I am today because of what I’ve been through! Take control of your life, stand up and dominate. Every time we fall down we become stronger! Never give up, fight for what you want, fight for what you believe in. Take responsibility for your actions because the only one to blame, is yourself for your mistakes. The sooner you accept your wrongs and mistakes, the sooner you can move on. A lot of us always go back and say, “I wish I would have taken that left instead of that right or I should have done this or that.” If you were supposed to take that left you would have taken it. No matter where we find ourselves today or tomorrow, that’s where we are supposed to be!
I would have to say the dumbest thing I have ever done was start- using meth. Now I crave it every day. When I was on it I would act erratic and out of control. Now that I am sober it really sucks, since I started at such a young age I don’t really know what life is like or how to act. I struggle with more simple tasks because of the constant drug abuse. I am behind in school because I was such an addict that I would just get on one and nothing else.
My eating habits suck because I never got used to my body actually getting hungry. The two most difficult challenges for me would be staying sober and coping because of how much drugs took from me. It took money, time, just valuable things in my developing life that I will never get back because of this stupid monster. I shouldn’t have ever done it, I wish it didn’t exist, but I can’t change the past. Just take what I know, all the terrible situations it got me in, and move forward.