My predicament has been helping me out positively. Despite my situation being negative, at this moment I’m in the process of learning patience, discipline and self-control. My ongoing incarceration has been assisting me shape the better, stronger me that I have been running away from for so long. Honestly I’m grateful for the adversities I’m facing because without them I wouldn’t be the same person I am right now. While in captivity I never obsess over time. It is a form of self-torture. I use my memories of the past and relive them in my mind. I stretch each memory out, even the ones that only lasted a few minutes in real life, and I relive each of those memories for days at a time. I believe a man with no memories of happiness, pleasure and family and friendship or adventures will be conquered by time and by his captors.
Craving everything is a form of self-torture, letting go of my desires is the key to self-control in captivity. Even in living life as a free man it is necessary that you have the ability to control your desires. Thinking about the future is a form of self-torture. So for me there is no future, I live in present time. But I strive for success in order to secure my future. I’m bound to make mistakes but I’ll never quit. I’ll change the plan, but never the goal.