Staring Back At Me

by Rajene

Thick brown skin with battle scars everywhere, a glance around my face expressing a deep depression and overcoming of sin. I see three tattoos that express the love for the people symbolized amongst each of them.

I see coarse hair, which I was born with and struggled with while going through different stages of depression. I remember my different hairstyles as I think of myself, and cry knowing that my hair did not deserve this point of roughness. That’s just the outside appearance of the mirror for the bigger image is withheld inside of my soul, heart and mind.

Now I see joy jumped by my pride and knowledge of the streets and books. I see plenty of ghts, mostly wins, a few losses physically and mentally. I see pain and hurt towards people shown by my evil spirits. I see attitude more negative than positive given to those who come across my dark lights.

In the depths of me I see hope for recovery of the mind and broken heart. Then I remember to when I was happy. I was a pure and wise happy soul. I loved those who loved me. I even loved more.

I see me and see a wounded heart forcing itself back together after being torn apart by my rst love. It’s hard to x since when I see me, I see him in me. I see, a once on track, skill minded human being who had a decent head on her shoulders change into a lost certi ed gang member who’s ignorant mind won’t allow her to think beyond the streets. I see stupidity creating blind spots within me.

Eventually I ended up seeing a criminal in me who is now a juvenile facing time. If I were to look now, I would see a new beginning of hope for the future me with lasting effects of the old me. Together both good and bad, I see me.