I can honestly say I wasted eighteen years of my life, each day chasing something; answers, love, a high, money, acceptance. I spent eighteen years acting out and making mistakes because I thought someone would save me. I realize now, though. I can’t keep making mistakes based off the choices people made before I was born or because people thought life was boring and wanted more than just a family.
I wish life was laid out in front of me but it’s not and never will be. I don’t know where the days went. Time keeps speeding up and lately, the days have been passing me instead of me passing the days. I feel like life’s happening around me and I’m not even part of it. I never thought eighteen would come so fast. A mixture of opportunity and fear stir inside me. I’m ready and I don’t know what I’m ready for. I’m scared and I don’t know what I’m scared for. I do know that now my times up, nobody’s saving me. So it’s on me like it always has been.