There isn’t much that I can do when I’m locked up. The system is messed up so if they want to point their ngers at you it’s because they got no one else to blame.
We come to realize the things that really matter in life because of all the time we got on our hands, we don’t realize it when we’re out on those streets because of all the mind games people play on us youngsters. And there are all kinds of other distractions just by trying to survive the life we gangbangers choose to take. It’s just a day by day life and we don’t know when we can lose our life on the streets or get caught slippin’ by the Gang Task Force and wind up here.
There’s plenty of people who act like they don’t care, but everyone has their people or things that they care about. Nobody wants to be locked up their whole life. Just these short times being in and out of the hall brings me closer to my family but the reason why I come back is because my mentality doesn’t change and I didn’t face the reality until being locked up this time.
The year barely started and I was looking forward to my 18th birthday and getting off probation but damn I get locked up just a couple of days after the New Year.
When I seen my mom in visiting, the worst thing was telling her my charges.
She always asks me, “what happened to her innocent little boy?” It breaks me to pieces that I’m the reason my mother is going through these things.
The only people by my side at these times are my family. They pay for my phone calls and come to visit me. I like my visits when my mother is able to come because she helps me feel better about myself. She is my world and I would do anything to take all my mistakes back so my mother wouldn’t have to go through this stress and pain.
My family and my girl are my world, all I pray for is to be free and still have them in my life by the time that I’m out. If it’s a couple of months or all those years they want to stick to me. I just wish to have my family with me.