Stuck In The Shell

by Hd

The real me is hidden in the dark. Stuck in my shell, never wanting to come out, afraid to be judged, scared not to be good enough. No one sees the real me.  Fake smiles and laughter.  Scared to feel scared to want and not be wanted back, curious of what people think.  How could they be so blind? So unaware.

Maybe they just don’t seem to care. They act like they do, but if they did they would see that something is really wrong inside of me. Not crazy, just different.  Not like the rest.  When I feel feelings, my heart jumps out my chest.  But this is why I hide and I stay in the dark. I’m afraid of the silence and afraid of the dark.

I wonder if anyone will ever care enough to realize the sad darkness in my eyes or hear the cries that I cry.  Maybe it’s not worth it because I know I’ll just get hurt, left in the dust, left in the dirt. I can’t bear the hurt.  I have too much. I don’t think I can physically handle it.  I just sit here and wait for someone to realize.  Who will it be?  But I’m so sick of waiting.  It’s like I’m a fish stuck in the sea.  Like people say there’s too many fish in the sea.  Maybe one day things will change and the darkness and sadness wont’ be in me and things can rearrange.